So, after trying Overeaters Anonymous in 2015 and CBT for Eating Disorders in 2016, I tried Weight Watchers online again in late 2016 and early 2017. My psychiatrist even prescribed a couple of anti-binge eating medications, which just made me too anxious after a few months–and I have enough anxiety as it is!
In 2017 I wanted to try something new, and focus on my mental facets of emotional eating, so I tried the Noom program. Couldn’t commit. Then I tried Lark, because it was supposed to save time having to type in all your food–it used AI to interpret your food into red, yellow, and green categories. Tried Lifesum, but wasn’t into it.
So…now I am back at Weight Watchers and found a really great group of people and leaders in Midtown East. I’m focusing on my thought patterns and trying to feel more gratitude for the good things in my life. I’m actually doing WW “homework” this time: started a journal of the exercises and tools that are discussed in meetings and in the weeklies. I’ve joined a FB group that my leader admins and I’m using Connect, posting, liking, asking for advice.
I had a few months of less negative self-talk, but last week I entered a difficult period on all fronts and starting having really bad thoughts again. Trying to bring it back and keep positive. My leader said something about not wallowing. That’s what I’ve been doing since 2014…wallowing in my pain and shame and not moving forward. I want to learn, grow, and move forward. I also just turned 40 and I want this to be a year where I learn to be confident with myself, even if life is messy most of the time. I’m not perfect. I’m human. I AM ENOUGH.