My youngest daughter is about to turn one on Friday. It’s been tough for me to adjust to being a working mom of two. I find that I spent so much time this past year just trying to survive and get enough sleep to function the next day that I haven’t had much time to focus on anything just for me. I’m going to try to have more balance this coming year; if I’m happy and feel like I get to do some things that I enjoy, I hope that will rub off on the time that I do spend with my family.
Embed from Getty ImagesI took my first non-baby, non-family, non-prenatal, regular adult-only yoga class on Saturday morning, and I loved it! I used muscles I haven’t used in probably two years. I challenged myself, but didn’t go too crazy. I’ve been sore for the past two days–even my armpits are sore! As I pump less and less at work I’m going to try to take a class or two on my lunch break, too. Maybe Pilates, too. I’m really looking forward to feeling strong and fit again! And I just found out my company might start Weigh Watchers at work, which would be convenient and save me money that I could spend on yoga and Pilates classes. 🙂 I do like getting lots of steps on my FitBit walking all the way down to my WW meeting, though…
So, I didn’t reach my goal of losing 5% of my weight by her 1st birthday. In fact, I’ve almost crept back up (yo-yo-ing) to my return-to-work weight. On Thursday when I weighed in and saw that I gained back the 1.4 that I’d lost the previous week I was really sad. I just kept thinking how disappointed I am in myself. I keep repeating the same negative self-talk in my head: “You were only 7 pounds away from your goal after giving birth, and now you’re 17 pounds away! What kind of idiot eats so much after having a baby?” But then Friday I thought, “Enough!” What’s done is done. I want to reach my goal, and it might take a little more time, but I was busy nurturing my children, returning to work, getting through the baby period, and applying to graduate school, and now I can spend more time on nurturing myself. I need to stop comparing myself to my sister-in-law and other skinny people at work and on the street. I am me. No one else. I successfully lost weight after my first daughter. Really it was the most successful I’ve ever been at achieving a healthy weight since college. I can do it again if I put my mind to it. There, I said it. I can do it!